Surrogacy, as a medical alternative to bearing children, is yet to be thoroughly accepted by society. It is a blessing in disguise for infertile couples. However, not many people opt for it, due to lack of complete information about the process. Somewhere at the back of their minds, people worry about getting the custody of their child from the surrogate mother, legal battles they might have to fight if the transfer doesn’t go smoothly etc. It is here that professional counseling comes into play, as it guides the couple through the entire process and answers all their queries. Professional counseling also helps
Why is professional counseling advisable in cases of surrogacy?
This is a big process in your life and hence it is only natural to be confused when you are about to take such a huge leap. Professional counseling makes the process easier as you walk out with all your queries answered.
Some frequently asked queries about surrogacy.
Q: The commonest worry on a couple’s mind is regarding the child having any blood relation with the surrogate mother.
A: The answer is No.There are various options of surrogacy available wherein both the egg and sperm belong to the couple itselfor either the egg or sperm is acquired from an unknown donor or both the egg and sperm are acquired from donors at an infertility bank.In these cases, we see that the unborn child has no genetic relationship with the surrogate mother (gestational surrogacy).Few couples might opt for using the eggs from the surrogate mother; in such a case alone will the child born be related to the surrogate mother (traditional surrogacy).
Q: Worries about the legal custody of the child.
A: The worries about who will have complete custody of the child are taken care of, as the surrogate mother doesn’t have any legal ownership of the child. They are also trained psychologically to remain detached from the unborn child, so when the child is born it is easy to let go. The counsellor guides about how you can convince your family members about this option, when is the right time to break the news to the family about the surrogate mother being pregnant with your child etc.
Q:What is the time span to delivery in surrogacy?
A: The time span for surrogacy to delivery is around one and a half year as it depends on the time taken for the legal formalities and success of IVF treatment. If you wish, you can accompany the surrogate mother to all her doctor visits, ultrasounds, and even blood check-ups, so that you feel more connected to the baby and feel like a part of the entire process.
Q: Will the couple feel detached from the baby?
A: Occasionally, the biological mother might feel detached from the baby as she has not actually given birth.Professional counseling helps in overcoming this feeling and instead, you will find yourself eagerly waiting to hold your baby in your hands. You will also be guided about the post delivery relationship with the surrogate mother like, whether you would want your child to communicate with her, would you like to maintain a relationship with her etc.
These are some of the major questions that commonly arise in a couple’s mind and can be easily resolved by counseling with an experienced counselor. Parenthood is a life changing event in anyone’s life; it is highly recommended to opt for delaying the decision when in doubt.